A Good Doobie: The Lovable Man Behind The Cloud of Smoke

"Wherever you are, and whatever you do, be in love." --Rumi

I once briefly dated a man who I later learned carried an expensive engagement ring everywhere with him, wanting to be good and ready if the right woman came along. He scared several women away with his impulsive wedding proposals, myself included. He was a sweet guy, but his gaping need to find a partner felt like a bottomless wound, one so deep that no woman could possibly fill it without losing herself.

One of my favorite characters in Clover Blue is a softhearted pothead called Doobie. (Okay they're all my favorite characters; I'm their mom so I love them equally, nudge-nudge, wink-wink). We don't know much about how Doobie ended up at Saffron Freedom Community but it's implied that he drifted northward from Haight Street in San Francisco sometime around the Summer of Love. What we do know is that he is a lover in the true sense of the word. He's openly affectionate and loves everyone, and yet, like that man I once dated, he's the one member of SFC who finds romantic love the most elusive. 

From the outside, Doobie is the most "typical" hippie in the family, sporting long hair, dirty clothes, and a ready joint tucked behind one ear. He's always first with a smile, a hug, or an offer to share a smoke when one of his brothers or sisters are feeling down. Doobie loves weed; smoking it and growing it. He cultivates marijuana in the community garden, concealing the plants between rows of sweet corn. But you can't help but feel a little sorry for the man who wants so badly to find a partner to receive all the love he has to give.

It's not that Doobie has never enjoyed the company of women. He and former member Gaia

used to be lovers before she abandoned the commune (and her daughter) to follow The Grateful Dead. Later, Doobie sets his eyes on a runaway called Rain who joins the community in the fall of 1974. It doesn't take long for Doobie to realize the new girl is already under leader Goji's spell, and his chances with Rain are zero to nil. As Clover Blue's story progresses, we learn that Doobie has developed a mad crush on Stardust, a tarot card reader who lives in town and occasionally buys a dime bag from Doobie. Stardust is in a relationship with the controlling owner of the head shop where her readings take place, but Doobie hopes to woo her away from him.

Deeper into the story, Doobie falls in love again, this time with an older woman who flees her rural farming life to live at Saffron Freedom Community. But, you'll have to read the book to see how that turns out. ;)

We've all know people like Doobie. They're sensitive guys who wear their hearts on their sleeves. Women are initially drawn to the silliness and charm, but eventually go looking for a more "challenging" relationship, one that doesn't feel so lopsided. When this happens to our Romeo Doobie, he slinks away, heartbroken. And yet ever the optimist, he continues his search for the one woman who will open her heart to receive the gift of love he so desperately longs to share. 

What about you? Have you ever known someone like Doobie? I hope you'll share your story in the comments. And if you haven't already, I hope you'll consider pre-ordering CLOVER BLUE, now just 23 days from our launch date of May 28!

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Meet Coyote: The Loner, The Lover, The Leaver

The wolf pack will die when scattered by man, lonesome coyote survives. --El Coyote, Kris Kristofferson

Of all the characters within the pages of my forthcoming novel CLOVER BLUE, Coyote was the most unknown to me. Usually when I start a book, I acquaint myself with each person, learn their history, let them tell me their story so I can tell it to you. In Coyote's case, his story was more of a quiet reveal as I got to know him through his actions. This is partly because he's a man of few words, and usually only speaks when he has something worth saying. 

Because of this, the best way to introduce Coyote is to share some excerpts that might offer a few clues about this father, protector, army deserter, and loyal friend. In the following scene, young Clover Blue shares his thoughts in the midst of a powerful storm lashing outside their tree house shelter:

Coyote’s hammock hangs empty across from my bed. He’s an insomniac and often disappears on walks at night. On nights like this, you’d think he’d want to take shelter in the tree house, but Coyote loves storms. Nobody knows where he goes but he usually comes back long after I’m asleep.

Coyote is also a beloved father. His daughter Aura makes her appearance within the first few pages of the book during a home birth with his loving partner, Jade. Aura calls him Yo-Yi. Here's glimpse of Coyote and two-year-old Aura at Saffron Freedom Community.

Aura runs behind Coyote carrying a basket of wild berries in her chubby arms. She follows him everywhere. Half the time Coyote has Aura’s little legs curled around his neck as he moves around the compound with her on his shoulders. She hangs on to his dreadlocks like reins, leaning this way and that as if they’re two heads on one body. Coyote often has bits of food in his hair from her munching on apples or carrots while she floats around on his shoulders.

Blue often seeks  answers to his many questions from his older brother and confidant. In one of the most telling scenes from the book, Clover Blue wonders about Coyote's motivations for leaving boot camp and fleeing to the commune:

“I was just wondering if you ever wish you didn’t go AWOL. I mean wouldn’t it have been easier to just do your stint and be done? Or turn yourself in and take the punishment now that the Vietnam war is over?”

Coyote lets the truck door gently swing back closed. He looks me up and down while he chews a little on his lower lip. “You know we live in a bubble here, right? Things are crazy different out there in the real world. They sent all the brothers to Nam, put ’em on the front lines. Most of them came home in body bags. My ‘stint,’ as you call it, meant I’d have to kill people, you realize that?”

 “It was a stupid question.”

“No, it’s not. You need to know this. That war was for the military industry. Most are. But the war against the black man is far from over. What they most want to take away from us is our dignity and our freedom.”

Finally, Coyote is also quietly compassionate, as revealed by newcomer Rain:

“My first day here, everything was so, I don’t know, different. I was scared. Coyote sat here on the other side of me. My hand was shaking so bad the food kept falling off the fork. He put his hand over mine and held it. He said, ‘It’s cool, sister. Everyone here is your friend.’ His words calmed me down. I’ll never forget that.”

To be frank, as a white woman who grew up in the Midwest, creating a believable character like Coyote, a black man from Oakland, CA, was challenging. But it also presented a unique opportunity to underscore the issues of the day, and give voice to the disparity in African American military recruits who were sent to the front lines, and the unrelenting bigotry they endured. I don't for a minute profess to know what it would be like to walk in Coyote's shoes, but I hope that I've imprinted the reader's heart with one man's indelible footprints.

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Only 39 days until the release of CLOVER BLUE. I hope you'll pre-order your copy today, currently 34% off the cover price! 

And don't forget, my debut novel This I Know will be out in paperback on April 30. 

How to Grow A Guru

"Goji is the leader, but he doesn’t call himself that. He is kind of a guru, though, and everyone looks up to him." --Clover Blue, age 10

gu·ru

/ˈɡo͝oro͞o/

noun 

A spiritual teacher, especially one who imparts initiation.

1. 
   

My dad was my first guru, an evangelical minister who led congregations with his engaging personality, and who inspired the idea for This I Know. My second guru was Gabrielle Roth, although I never met her. I did, however, watch her videos, dancing along wildly until I forgot where the floor left off and my feet began. I loved the Five Rhythms as Roth called them, a series of musical selections that beckoned one to move blissfully through varied rhythmic dances. I was so drawn to the spiritual and physical practice I ended up facilitating my own Ecstatic Dance gatherings for a several years.

Gabrielle Roth certainly had innumerable followers but she'd likely never call herself a guru. Her goal was to convince others to turn inward using movement as a vehicle for meditation, self-exploration, and, ultimately, personal freedom. Likewise, in creating Goji, the founder of Saffron Freedom Community in CLOVER BLUE, I wanted to explore the idea of unintentional gurus, people who hope help others free themselves from outward attachment, only to become the object of  blind devotion. And therein lies the challenge of the human ego. As many celebrities will admit, it's difficult not to lose oneself in the thrill of adoration. History teaches us that worship comes with potential abuse of power.

Goji started out as a regular guy. His parents expected him to follow in his father's lawyerly footsteps. A combination of a young man's reactionary personality and a

burgeoning cultural revolution gave birth to a generation of seekers. Goji was swept up by a desire for more meaning in his life. He traveled to Asia, where he studied Sufism, Buddhism, Taoism and other various teachings. He eventually returned to the states and became intent on creating a spiritual commune free of societal norms. Saffron Freedom Community was born in 1967, an off-the-grid commune in Northern California filled with other disillusioned young people seeking to escape the rat race.

When the commune became over-crowded with people who abused drugs, didn't carry an equal work load, and weren't respectful to nature, Goji created a manifesto of sorts that included a set of guidelines. The Book, as members call it, included a commitment to  daily yoga and meditation, equal work load,  vegetarianism, sacred sexuality, and rejection of Western medicine, among others. Most of the members fled, leaving a close-knit group devotees that become family. 

All of the above happens years before the book opens in 1974, when Clover Blue is  ten years old. By this time a slow but steady shift has occurred. Despite his proclaimed rejection of tribal hierarchy, Goji has risen to the position of leader of the SFC family. As he comes of age, young Clover Blue begins to more closely measure his beloved teacher's actions. Will Goji choose to cultivate the tenets of his supposed enlightenment or exploit the devotion of others to assuage his own unmet needs?

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Two months to go before CLOVER BLUE releases, but the publisher is offering 25 copies ahead of publication on Goodreads! Giveaway ends 04.04.19. Good luck!

Finding Harmony: Every Protagonist Needs a Best Friend

Your heart and my heart are very good friends. --Rumi

We've all had that one friend. She's more daring than you. She laughs loudly at her own jokes and doesn't hesitate to make you the butt of some of them. She's a little bit wild or maybe a lot wild and she often makes you uncomfortable but you secretly admire her temerity. Above all she's that fiercely loyal friend that champions your successes and mourns your losses. She would probably go to jail for you, if not lay down her life.

Today we'd call that person our BFF but Clover Blue simply calls her Harmony, the one person who understands him better than anyone else at Saffron Freedom Community. Harmony was just  five, the same age as Blue, when she and her mother, Gaia moved to SFC in the fall of 1969. Here's how he describes their arrival in my forthcoming novel, CLOVER BLUE.

I remember Harmony running out from behind her mother’s legs to give me a hug. Unlike me, she was used to being around strangers. She grabbed my hand and said, “Let’s go play!” so I took her to see our new chickens. She wasn’t the least bit afraid. She cornered one of the hens, picked it up, and kissed it. “I love you!” she said, and squeezed the squawking bird before letting it go and chasing after the next one. From that day on I’ve spent as much time as possible trying to absorb her courage, her bright fire. 

I loved writing this character, the charming foil to my earnest protagonist's more staid and careful personality. She's an artist who carries her sketchpad everywhere. She pushes Blue, often to the brink of embarrassment, possibly terror, as she romps wildly through the pages of Blue's life. Although all "Youngers" in the commune are considered siblings and the rivalry between Blue and Harmony is apparent, they forge a friendship that goes beyond family, a bond so closely interwoven that each feels lost without the other. When Harmony runs off in a fit a anger, it's Blue who always knows where to find her.

When nobody’s paying attention, I slip behind the outhouse and over the hill and race toward the woods. Just inside the cover of trees, I hook a quick right along the edge to our secret deer path. I follow it to a wooden bridge that Harmony and I made from a fallen log, and cross the creek. I stop when I get to the hollowed-out trunk. It used to be big enough for us both to curl up inside together and tell stories. I drop to my knees and poke my head inside. Sure enough, there she is, looking as mean and stubborn as that rooster we had for a while before it got eaten by a bobcat.

Blue knows that Harmony's roughshod rebelliousness and unpredictable temper is an attempt to hide the pain she feels after Gaia abandons her. Harmony is just eight years old when her mother leaves for a Grateful Dead concert and doesn't return. Blue understands all too well what it's like not knowing where one's mother is, as he's never been told who his biological parents are. With the urging of his fearless best friend, Harmony, he's finally able to risk everything in his quest for truth.

What about you? Do you have a fiercely loyal friend like Harmony who is the fire to your water, the woo-hoo to your uh-oh? Give them a shout out here, or on my Facebook author page where I've linked this post. I'll be drawing a name for two decks of CLOVER BLUE playing cards, one each for you and your friend.

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I'm blogging about the characters leading up to the release of CLOVER BLUE, now available for pre-order online or better yet, pre-order from your local bookstore! Be sure to follow my blog by clicking on the link in the upper right column to be notified of new content and future giveaways!

Clover Blue: The Boy and The Book

“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. --Kahlil Gibran

I was a child of the seventies but had little awareness of the cultural revolution that book-ended my rural upbringing. Sheltered within the bubble of small town life, the most scandalous thing ever was when a busload of hippies stopped off at our tiny ice cream parlor clad in flowing gauze and scanty bikinis. 

I remember being seriously bummed that I'd missed the spectacle. Although I was the daughter of an evangelical preacher, it was clear to me from a very young age that a drunken stork must have mistaken Lake Michigan for the Pacific Ocean when he dropped me on our doorstep. While other children were playing hopscotch and jumping rope, my teachers would often find me writing poetry in a field beyond the playground. By the age of thirteen I was writing songs, a guitar slung over my back as I hiked beyond the meadow near our home. I loved my family dearly but I longed to find my tribe.

In writing CLOVER BLUE I wanted to draw a thread through the the needle of those early longings. Not just the fantasy of what it might be like to grow up in a 1970s commune, but someone who grapples with invisible loyalties between family and tribe. The book opens when young Blue attends a birth. He's been told that all the women are equally his mothers. It's not until he witnesses the love between sister-mother Jade and the biological father (Coyote) of their newborn baby that an ache rises in his belly. He wants to know, must know, which of the women gave birth to him. 

“Who did I come out of?”

All heads instantly turn toward me. I look at Willow. “Are you my mother?” Then down at Jade, now clutching the baby to her bare chest. “Or you?”

Harmony stares at me, her big eyes suddenly mirroring my question, the one I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to ask. 

And so begins Clover Blue's quest for truth. Although community leader Goji promises to reveal more when Blue is older, he's fed mere scraps of truth and anecdotal tidbits as he and his best friend Harmony try to weave together the story of his history. Despite his yearning, Clover Blue is conflicted about delving into the unknown because he loves his community and strives to follow the teachings of The Peaceful Way. It isn't until he comes of age and begins to unravel inconsistencies in the stories he's been told that he becomes quietly obsessed with his heritage.

If I had to describe Clover Blue to an interviewer, I'd say he's intelligent, earnest and eager to please. He's a dedicated follower of the community teachings who embraces what he considers an idyllic life, living in a tree house, surrounded by nature and people who love him. It's Blue's best friend Harmony who brings out his lighter side, constantly taunting him with her wicked humor and relentless teasing. Harmony and Blue have been joined at the hip since her mother (Gaia) brought her to SFC at the age of five. Their kinship is a mix of brother-sister rivalry and devoted comrades. 

CLOVER BLUE by Eldonna Edwards

I love writing coming-of-age stories because they are a reflection of the people we were before we became the people we are. It probably comes as no surprise that I eventually moved to California in search of my tribe. I don't live in a commune, but I have created a sacred space to live, love, laugh and write. I can't wait for you to meet Clover Blue, and hopefully, fall in love with him as deeply as I did. Perhaps you'll recognize someone you know. Perhaps that person is a younger version of the one in your mirror.

What about you? What were your deepest longings as you came of age? How have those early desires manifested in your adult life?

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Our First Review!

I hope you'll pop over and read this extraordinary in-depth review of CLOVER BLUE by D.B. Moone. I'd love it if you leave a comment on her book blog and don't hesitate to share it!

"Mesmerizing and riveting. Eldonna Edwards has written an artistically gripping story that will leave you book-drunk. Clover Blue is a profound, coming of age literary piece of work by an author without limit." --D.B. Moone Book Reviews

CLOVER BLUE is available for Pre-Order at: Barnes & Noble, Hudson Booksellers, Amazon,  Books-A-Million, IndieBound, Walmart,  Amazon (Kindle), Apple, Google, Kobo, and Nook.

Out On A Limb: World-Building From The Ground Up

Sanya Nanshan Treehouse Resort | Shi Huai Xun

When I was a young girl I envied our neighbor's adorable playhouse, a miniature home with tiny windows and a real roof, set back among the trees in their back yard. The little house had long been abandoned by their grown daughter but my sisters and I were not allowed to trespass on their fenced property. That didn't keep me from admiring the secret hideaway from our side of the barrier, which seemed more like a wall than a fence when you're a small child. 

What I remember most about the playhouse is the ache of jealousy I felt. I've always been a fan of cozy places. I used to love building forts under sheets draped over tables and sofas or between bales of hay in my friend Paula's old barn. I often hid in the linen closet on the second floor of our five-bedroom parsonage where I crawled between the shelves and wrote secret messages with glow-in-the-dark Play-Doh on the board above my head. One of my other favorite places was the small space between the washer and dryer where I would drag a blanket and let the warm rumbling and churning lull me to sleep. I also loved to hide in closets, a habit that helped inform young Grace Carter's visits with her deceased twin in my debut novel about a clairvoyant preacher's daughter, THIS I KNOW.

Fast forward to my teens when my dear dad gifted us with the best thing ever, an A-frame tree house nestled into a huge tree on the east side of our new house. At first it was a novelty to my younger sister and little brother, aged eight and twelve, but they quickly bored of it. Not me. I practically moved in, covering the walls with square carpet samples donated by Burcon's Furniture Store, coincidentally owned by the same family who'd lived beyond The Great Wall of our earlier home, the one with the forbidden playhouse and teenagers frolicking in an in-ground swimming pool, also off limits to my siblings and me. At age fourteen I carried my guitar up the rickety ladder of the tree house and sang Joni Mitchell songs and wrote a few aching love songs of my own. Mostly I sat  with my legs dangling off the edge of the plywood floor, scribbling bad poetry, my fort swaying as the branch yielded to moody Michigan winds. 

Given my love for trees and hiding places, it likely comes as no surprise that as a volunteer  

My Backyard Writing Shed

screener with our local film festival, I fell in love with a 2009 documentary about a group of free-spirited young people who formed a coalition of independent island-dwellers on the north beach of Kauai. I've long been fascinated by the revolutionary 1960s, the communes, the sloughing off of traditional family structures in favor of tribal life. I've fantasized about living in an intentional community. 

At one point I turned my empty-nest home into a sort of boarding house and filled the rooms with young women who needed a safe place to live. My "girls"  christened our house The Urban Oasis. They've long-since moved on, some now with families of their own, but those young women will always be remembered as part of my evolving tribe. I now live in a tiny converted garage next door to that house, what we call a granny unit here in California. I recently built myself a "playhouse,"  that serves as my writing studio under a Yucca tree in the back yard. Okay yes, it's my grown-up fort. It even has a hanging swing chair.

It's been almost a decade since I first began to conjure a story that incorporates my love of cozy places with my curiosity toward communal living. In about twenty weeks that story will hit bookstore shelves. In CLOVER BLUE, the members of Saffron Freedom Community reside among ancient live oak trees, the largest of which supports their many-roomed tree house. They live free from the weight of cultural norms. Free of clothing, if they wish. Free from overcrowded classrooms. Free to raise their own food and treat illness with herbal remedies rather than Western medicine. But as in all civilizations, freedom requires self-regulation, lest people begin to treat their claimed liberation from society's rules as a sense of entitlement. This concept is the moral challenge I sought to pursue through the eyes of a young boy who grows up dedicated to the precepts of his idyllic community and the tribe he loves. That is until he begins to question everything he's ever learned in his quest for truth, beginning the day the family midwife is preparing for a communal birth.   

I want to be excited, but I'm a little freaked out. I'm worried Jade's baby might not survive, just like the baby goat that got sick and died. Goji forbids doctors and hospitals. We believe in natural medicines. Sirona probably knows what she's doing, but what if she doesn't? What if none of them know what they're doing? --Clover Blue, age 10

I'm counting down the days (145!) until y'all get introduced to young Clover Blue, his best friend Harmony, and the rest of this ragtag clan of tree house dwellers. In the meantime, tell me about your favorite hiding places, your dream oasis, your sacred spaces. Where do/did you go when you need(ed) a quiet place to dream?

Book Trailer for CLOVER BLUE by Eldonna Edwards

I'll leave you with this delightful Shel Silverstein poem from his book, Where The Sidewalk Ends.

A tree house, a free house,

A secret you and me house,

A high up in the leafy branches

Cozy as can be house.

A street house, a neat house,

Be sure to wipe your feet house

Is not my kind of house at all- 

Let's go live in a tree house.

Hippies and Gurus and Communes, Oh My!

Back then it was just the six of us: Goji, Willow, Wave, Jade, Doobie, and me. I don’t remember much from the first couple years after I came here, but sometime during that summer my memories kick in, as if my brain suddenly threw the switch that saves stuff.  --Clover Blue

When I was a girl I envied my sisters for each having a unique nickname, endearingly handed out by my dad. My oldest sibling Sharon was called Queenie due to her towering height. Luanne was LuLu, Mari-Beth was Izzy, Nita was Neat (although she spelled it "Nete") and LaVonne was Ree, short for her middle name, Marie.  My baby brother David we called Gus, or more commonly, Gassy Gus, for obvious reasons. Me? I was simply Donna, although my sisters recently informed me that my nickname was actually Pinch-Face so maybe I just blocked the memory. 

One of the most thrilling parts of beginning a new novel is getting to name your "children". CLOVER BLUE is set in a 1960s/70s Northern California spiritual commune led by a quiet but charismatic man who gathers like-minded people to live a life that he terms The Peaceful Way. Each member of Saffron Freedom Community chooses or is given a new name when they join the family. As someone who lives in California and with a twenty-five-year career in massage therapy, I'm pretty sure I've heard every hippie-dippy-woo-woo-hooky-do name out there so I assumed this task would be easy. 

Long before typing the first words of the book, I made a list of my characters and their qualities, then assigned them a unique name. Besides Clover Blue and his best friend Harmony, whose namings are revealed as the story unfolds, Jao Ji  was the first name that came to me for the group's founder, given to him by an Indian guru. I wanted the leader's title to be a bit of a puzzle, just as he is. I liked the sound of the word. In Hindi Jao means "go" and Ji is a suffix of respect. So to my mind, having traveled throughout Eastern Asia before starting the commune, it felt like a fitting name for him. 

The next two names were given to prominent characters Willow and Wave, who, despite the free love enjoyed during the sexual revolution, remain steadfast in their love for each other. Willow is a skilled yogi and Wave a former surfer who abandoned the sea after an encounter with a shark. Another original member, Doobie gets his moniker from not only being the family marijuana cultivator, but also the person who consumes most of the product. It's a friendly name, which reflects Doobie's easy-going personality. 

On and on my list went with names like Lyric, Tao, Peace, Feather and Earth, a singer-songwriter, a thespian, a war protester, a bee-keeper and a wildish woman who worships nature. As the story progresses, three more characters show up: a teen-aged girl called Rain, midwife Serena, and Lotus, a neighboring artist. Other characters appear on the list, minor characters, and together I created a lively cast of spiritual seekers devoted to living a peaceful life in nature, far from the madding crowd. But as the story unfolded on the pages and these people came into better focus, they evolved from simple characters to three-dimensional human beings with a past and a purpose. Some wore their names perfectly while others began to slough off the names I'd given them, begging for a more suitable one. 

Jao Ji became Goji, a bastardization of what his teacher had called him, underscoring his flawed self-image. Rather than "Respected Traveler" his name became simply a plant with berries. Peace was renamed Coyote when he evolved from being just an army deserter to a man whose integrity runs much deeper than his politics. Earth became Gaia as she grew into her unpredictable wildness. I changed Feather to Jade because she is a much stronger, more independent woman than I'd first imagined. And sadly, Lyric and Tao disappeared from the pages as I tightened the cast and killed off my darlings.

What I realized while writing Clover Blue is that it would have been easy to take the lazy route and write caricatured versions of every hippie or flower child I've ever met, read about or seen on the screen. But the characters in CLOVER BLUE are more than their names. They are part of a collective tribe yet each with distinct passions and motivations, just like you and me. Mine just happens to be conjuring worlds full of imagined people and places to entertain and hopefully, enlighten readers. I sincerely hope you enjoy the time you spend with them as much as I did creating them.

CLOVER BLUE is now available for Pre-Order!

When Breath Becomes Heir

*Note: Beginning last week with the Cover Reveal for my next book, CLOVER BLUE, I'll be posting weekly-ish peeks into the story ahead of release on May 28, 2019. Be sure to subscribe via the button on the left to stay updated! 

When I was about seven years old, I sat at my desk in our tiny elementary school, staring at the pencil between my fingers, turning my hand this way and that. I remember very distinctly a dawning awareness of my hand attached to my arm, my breaths leaving my mouth, my body separate from my thoughts. In that brief existential moment, I suddenly understood that what I was, was not who I was. 

It was a strange feeling, this new realization that my body would grow and change but that the person inside having those thoughts would remain. The experience, however brief, left an indelible mark on my memory. At fifty-nine years old I still remember that epiphany almost as clearly as if it happened yesterday. 

As children we accept what we're told and rarely question the past as it fades in the wake of our maturation. And yet for most of us, there comes a point where we begin to ponder our existence, how we fit into the world, our families and the surrounding environment. We yearn to identify as a member of the human tribe that begins with our parents and siblings, stretching outward toward extended family, friends, and community. The older we get, the more our world expands to include our country, our planet, and the seemingly-infinite universe. 

In my next novel, Clover Blue, my young protagonist is missing a piece of his biological puzzle. He lives in a spiritual commune in Northern California without running water or electricity. Each day begins with yoga and ends with meditation. They sleep in an elaborate treehouse, raise their own food, and the Youngers are nature-schooled. Clover Blue is twelve years old when he begins to reflect upon his connections beyond Saffron Freedom Community:

I have no memory of anything before here. Sometimes when we’re in town at the library or the store, I hear a voice and it sounds familiar. Once in a while a smell reaches into my brain and tries to call up the past, but it’s always dark and flat. Maybe I don’t want to remember. Maybe it was bad. Or maybe it was so good it would hurt too much to remember.

And so begins Blue's search for identity among the ragtag tribe of folks who've raised

him. People like Goji, the commune founder, Jade, their former beekeeper, Wave, a guitar-playing surfer and his "old lady" Willow, a yoga enthusiast. Although Blue loves his unique family--especially his funny and fiercely independent best friend, Harmony--he aches to know more about his roots and how he ended up at Saffron Freedom Community. 

What about you? Can you remember when you first began to assert your autonomy as an individual? Was it a lightning bolt revelation or was it a more gradual understanding of your place in the world?

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Have I piqued your interest yet? I hope you'll follow this blog to learn more about my earnest young protagonist and his ragtag tribe. If you add Clover Blue to your Goodreads shelf and your BookBub wish-list you'll be notified of any news like giveaways or deals. The book is also available for pre-order online. Descriptions of all my books, including my debut novel This I Know and my memoir Lost In Transplantation can be found HERE. 

Birth of A Book (And A Cover Reveal!)

Birth of Venus by Sandro Botticelli

As I read excerpts from my novels while leading a recent writing workshop  at our local library, it occurred to me that although not intentional, both This I Know and my 2019 release, Clover Blue begin with a birth. The prologue of This I Know features twins Grace and Isaac communicating their last thoughts to each other during the final moments before birth:

I'm spooning my Other, my belly to his back. I love the way his body feels against mine. Although we've changed positions many times,  we always come back to this...

My goal was to capture the sibling's love for each other, but also their fear of separation. I'm not a twin and of course I don't remember being in the womb, but I do know how it feels to love. And I have endured the depth and weight of loss many times over so it wasn't that difficult to imagine how  vulnerable these two tiny humans might feel as they leave the safety of their mother's womb to face the unknown reality of the outer world. 

Authors often compare writing a book to pregnancy, and the eventual release, to birth. It's true that incubating a story takes months, often years, and there's no greater feeling than seeing your book come to life on bookstore shelves and in the hands of readers. Writing, editing, rewriting and revising is hard labor, but the rewards are plenty. One of those rewards is seeing your book cover for the very first time. I remember literally squealing when I first received the cover comps for This I Know. As some of you might remember, the real-life mother of that gorgeous red-headed child on the cover found me on Facebook and shared more photos of her daughter to use in our book trailer. 

My next book won't be out for another 175 days (whose counting, right?) but this is the week I get to reveal the cover. Before I do, I'd like to share the opening sentences to give you a feel for the book:

The Olders are letting us watch the birth. Harmony runs up the path ahead of me, her bare feet kicking up a cloud of dust. When she gets to the teepee she turns and yells, "Come on Blue! Aren't you excited?"

This story takes place in a fictional Northern California commune during the 1960s and 70s. The novel opens with young Clover Blue on his way to a birth, attended by the Saffron Freedom Community midwife. His fiercely independent best friend Harmony can't wait for the event but Blue holds back, fearful. And with good reason:

I walk slowly, taking small steps. I might be old enough at ten, but that doesn't mean I'm ready for this. I can't shake the memory of when our nanny goat, Inga, had a baby a couple years ago. She ate the sac around her kid and other stuff that came out of her afterward. I hope we don't have to eat anything that comes out after Jade's baby is born. We're vegetarian so probably not. But you never know with this family.

I loved writing Clover Blue. It was a unique opportunity to imagine coming of age in a spiritual commune among a tribe of bohemian seekers that includes a beekeeper, an army deserter, a surfer, a yoga enthusiast, a pot farmer, and their guru, among others. What would it be like to sleep in an elaborate tree house? To live in harmony with nature, without electricity or running water? To start each day with yoga and end it with meditation? To be raised equally by all the members, not knowing who your biological parents are?

Starting this week I hope to post weekly sneak peeks of passages from Clover Blue. I read the first several pages in a Live Video on my Facebook page yesterday (reading starts at 10:30) if you'd like to listen. I hope you'll follow this blog to learn more about my earnest young protagonist and his caretakers. If you add Clover Blue to your Goodreads shelf and your BookBub wish-list you'll be notified of any news like giveaways or deals. The book is also available for pre-order online. And now...drum roll please...I present the amazing cover for CLOVER BLUE. I look forward to reading your comments!