Meet Lotus: The Prodigal Farmer's Wife in CLOVER BLUE

"Life gets mighty precious when there's less time of it to waste." --Bonnie Raitt

I remember when my mom turned fifty and all hell broke loose in our house. She shuffled off the yoke of her existence as a devoted pastor's wife and went back to college to expand her horizons. Mom would stay up late, poring over books and homework. She eventually graduated with honors, using her degree to become a financial aide counselor at the same college she'd attended.

My mom with my dad and me in 1961

Although he lovingly supported my mother's educational aspirations, I think on some level my dad mourned the loss of his dutiful wife, and realized that her going back to school was likely the first step of his beloved's path to asserting her autonomy. And he was right. My mom was barely twenty when they'd married. Forty years and seven children later, they separated. My dad was heartbroken. My mom, on the other hand, bloomed like a rose, until the piercing thorn of cancer took her permanently from all of us at the age of sixty-four. 

Saffron Freedom Community, the 1970s commune in CLOVER BLUE, is full of youthful people who aspire to create a Utopian society free from the constraints of social norms. Except for a couple of trusted neighbors, outsiders are forbidden from entering SFC. One of those exceptions is Lois Fuller, the farm wife who buys eggs from the commune that borders their property. Mrs. Fuller is a former school teacher who once had aspirations of studying art. She loves spending time with the Saffrron children, encouraging them to explore their interests in art and literature. The more time she spends at SFC the more envious she becomes of their lifestyle, eventually going so far as to want to join them:

“Look, I know I’m a lot older than all of you, but I’ve been every age you are.” She turns toward Goji, who listens thoughtfully. “Every time I set foot in this community it feels like coming home to that idealistic version of myself, the dreams I lost somewhere along the way.”

Goji leans forward, resting his elbows on the table and his chin on his hands. “You are like a flower, opening. So very beautiful. I think we should call you Lotus instead of Lois.”

Lotus reminds me a little of my own mother and a lot of myself. Today, on Mother's Day, I want to honor all those mothers who made huge sacrifices to care for the children and those who chose to pursue their dreams, simultaneously or eventually. I also want to honor the women who either couldn't or chose not to have kids. Mothering isn't about giving birth so much as it's about nurturing. We are all mothers in one way or another. Some of us plant gardens. Some of us protect and care for the planet and her creatures. Some of us make art. And some of us write books.

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Only two weeks until the release of CLOVER BLUE. If your mother grew up in the 1960s/1970s she might enjoy this book. And you might learn a little something about her...

 Available for pre-order now. 

How to Grow A Guru

"Goji is the leader, but he doesn’t call himself that. He is kind of a guru, though, and everyone looks up to him." --Clover Blue, age 10

gu·ru

/ˈɡo͝oro͞o/

noun 

A spiritual teacher, especially one who imparts initiation.

1. 
   

My dad was my first guru, an evangelical minister who led congregations with his engaging personality, and who inspired the idea for This I Know. My second guru was Gabrielle Roth, although I never met her. I did, however, watch her videos, dancing along wildly until I forgot where the floor left off and my feet began. I loved the Five Rhythms as Roth called them, a series of musical selections that beckoned one to move blissfully through varied rhythmic dances. I was so drawn to the spiritual and physical practice I ended up facilitating my own Ecstatic Dance gatherings for a several years.

Gabrielle Roth certainly had innumerable followers but she'd likely never call herself a guru. Her goal was to convince others to turn inward using movement as a vehicle for meditation, self-exploration, and, ultimately, personal freedom. Likewise, in creating Goji, the founder of Saffron Freedom Community in CLOVER BLUE, I wanted to explore the idea of unintentional gurus, people who hope help others free themselves from outward attachment, only to become the object of  blind devotion. And therein lies the challenge of the human ego. As many celebrities will admit, it's difficult not to lose oneself in the thrill of adoration. History teaches us that worship comes with potential abuse of power.

Goji started out as a regular guy. His parents expected him to follow in his father's lawyerly footsteps. A combination of a young man's reactionary personality and a

burgeoning cultural revolution gave birth to a generation of seekers. Goji was swept up by a desire for more meaning in his life. He traveled to Asia, where he studied Sufism, Buddhism, Taoism and other various teachings. He eventually returned to the states and became intent on creating a spiritual commune free of societal norms. Saffron Freedom Community was born in 1967, an off-the-grid commune in Northern California filled with other disillusioned young people seeking to escape the rat race.

When the commune became over-crowded with people who abused drugs, didn't carry an equal work load, and weren't respectful to nature, Goji created a manifesto of sorts that included a set of guidelines. The Book, as members call it, included a commitment to  daily yoga and meditation, equal work load,  vegetarianism, sacred sexuality, and rejection of Western medicine, among others. Most of the members fled, leaving a close-knit group devotees that become family. 

All of the above happens years before the book opens in 1974, when Clover Blue is  ten years old. By this time a slow but steady shift has occurred. Despite his proclaimed rejection of tribal hierarchy, Goji has risen to the position of leader of the SFC family. As he comes of age, young Clover Blue begins to more closely measure his beloved teacher's actions. Will Goji choose to cultivate the tenets of his supposed enlightenment or exploit the devotion of others to assuage his own unmet needs?

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Two months to go before CLOVER BLUE releases, but the publisher is offering 25 copies ahead of publication on Goodreads! Giveaway ends 04.04.19. Good luck!

Clover Blue: The Boy and The Book

“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. --Kahlil Gibran

I was a child of the seventies but had little awareness of the cultural revolution that book-ended my rural upbringing. Sheltered within the bubble of small town life, the most scandalous thing ever was when a busload of hippies stopped off at our tiny ice cream parlor clad in flowing gauze and scanty bikinis. 

I remember being seriously bummed that I'd missed the spectacle. Although I was the daughter of an evangelical preacher, it was clear to me from a very young age that a drunken stork must have mistaken Lake Michigan for the Pacific Ocean when he dropped me on our doorstep. While other children were playing hopscotch and jumping rope, my teachers would often find me writing poetry in a field beyond the playground. By the age of thirteen I was writing songs, a guitar slung over my back as I hiked beyond the meadow near our home. I loved my family dearly but I longed to find my tribe.

In writing CLOVER BLUE I wanted to draw a thread through the the needle of those early longings. Not just the fantasy of what it might be like to grow up in a 1970s commune, but someone who grapples with invisible loyalties between family and tribe. The book opens when young Blue attends a birth. He's been told that all the women are equally his mothers. It's not until he witnesses the love between sister-mother Jade and the biological father (Coyote) of their newborn baby that an ache rises in his belly. He wants to know, must know, which of the women gave birth to him. 

“Who did I come out of?”

All heads instantly turn toward me. I look at Willow. “Are you my mother?” Then down at Jade, now clutching the baby to her bare chest. “Or you?”

Harmony stares at me, her big eyes suddenly mirroring my question, the one I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to ask. 

And so begins Clover Blue's quest for truth. Although community leader Goji promises to reveal more when Blue is older, he's fed mere scraps of truth and anecdotal tidbits as he and his best friend Harmony try to weave together the story of his history. Despite his yearning, Clover Blue is conflicted about delving into the unknown because he loves his community and strives to follow the teachings of The Peaceful Way. It isn't until he comes of age and begins to unravel inconsistencies in the stories he's been told that he becomes quietly obsessed with his heritage.

If I had to describe Clover Blue to an interviewer, I'd say he's intelligent, earnest and eager to please. He's a dedicated follower of the community teachings who embraces what he considers an idyllic life, living in a tree house, surrounded by nature and people who love him. It's Blue's best friend Harmony who brings out his lighter side, constantly taunting him with her wicked humor and relentless teasing. Harmony and Blue have been joined at the hip since her mother (Gaia) brought her to SFC at the age of five. Their kinship is a mix of brother-sister rivalry and devoted comrades. 

CLOVER BLUE by Eldonna Edwards

I love writing coming-of-age stories because they are a reflection of the people we were before we became the people we are. It probably comes as no surprise that I eventually moved to California in search of my tribe. I don't live in a commune, but I have created a sacred space to live, love, laugh and write. I can't wait for you to meet Clover Blue, and hopefully, fall in love with him as deeply as I did. Perhaps you'll recognize someone you know. Perhaps that person is a younger version of the one in your mirror.

What about you? What were your deepest longings as you came of age? How have those early desires manifested in your adult life?

*****

Our First Review!

I hope you'll pop over and read this extraordinary in-depth review of CLOVER BLUE by D.B. Moone. I'd love it if you leave a comment on her book blog and don't hesitate to share it!

"Mesmerizing and riveting. Eldonna Edwards has written an artistically gripping story that will leave you book-drunk. Clover Blue is a profound, coming of age literary piece of work by an author without limit." --D.B. Moone Book Reviews

CLOVER BLUE is available for Pre-Order at: Barnes & Noble, Hudson Booksellers, Amazon,  Books-A-Million, IndieBound, Walmart,  Amazon (Kindle), Apple, Google, Kobo, and Nook.

Everybody Loves Rain: When the "New Girl" Shows Up

I distinctly remember the day Michelle* first appeared in the halls of our high school during the Spring of my sophomore year. A natural beauty, the shiny, new brunette immediately turned heads. My testosterone-fueled classmates were less than obvious in their remarks as Michelle's perfect body with perky boobs, a full head of gorgeous hair, and a perfect mouth that framed sparkling white teeth, breezed past us on her way to class. Of course, we girls stared, too. Michelle was a freak of nature, carved from some unnatural combination of drop-dead-gorgeous looks and bubbly personality that made it difficult to dislike her, even after she'd plucked your boyfriend from under your arm while you were home recovering from mono. 

I knew early on while writing CLOVER BLUE that although life in a commune would be far from boring, there's nothing like having a stranger arrive to shake up the status quo. Early in the story, a young runaway shows up, guided to Saffron Freedom Community by an estranged former member. The men fawn over the new beauty while the women become overly-protective of her. Despite the free-loving nature of the community, one is never sure if the sisters are more worried about the men seducing this naive young woman or her seducing them with her charming innocence. 

What follows is an excerpt from CLOVER BLUE, where young Blue watches as the commune's leader welcomes his newest protege:

The girl stares at her tennis shoes. Other than a smeared dirt hand print on the front of her white pants, she looks like a townie; clean like she just climbed out of a bathtub. She’s so beautiful I can’t stop staring. 

Goji puts a finger under the girl’s chin and lifts her face. With his other hand he sweeps the curtain of white-blond hair out of the way and looks directly into her bright eyes. I can tell by the blotches on her light skin that she’s been crying. I can also see that she’s already under Goji’s spell. That’s just the way it is with him.

From the time we're babes, we humans long to feel special in the eyes of those we love. It's no surprise then that when a stranger's light threatens to cast us into their shadow, our first reactions are jealously, fear and resentment. Hopefully, as in the case of my high school friend Michelle, we come to judge that person based upon who they truly are rather than any threat to our perceived ranking among family or peers. In my case, I was fortunate to remain friends with Michelle, long after she traded in my ex-boyfriend for a new one. 

I loved creating these ragtag characters and I'm looking forward to introducing you to them one by one in the weeks leading up to the release of CLOVER BLUE. In the meantime, think about a time when a stranger showed up in your life. Do you tend to hold back until you get to know a new person, or are you a virtual Welcome Wagon, embracing newcomers to your circle with open arms?

*Name changed to protect privacy. Sadly, like many bright and beautiful beings, we lost "Michelle" much too soon when her life was cut short by breast cancer. This post is dedicated to her beautiful memory.

******

CLOVER BLUE is now available for Pre-Order!

Hippies and Gurus and Communes, Oh My!

Back then it was just the six of us: Goji, Willow, Wave, Jade, Doobie, and me. I don’t remember much from the first couple years after I came here, but sometime during that summer my memories kick in, as if my brain suddenly threw the switch that saves stuff.  --Clover Blue

When I was a girl I envied my sisters for each having a unique nickname, endearingly handed out by my dad. My oldest sibling Sharon was called Queenie due to her towering height. Luanne was LuLu, Mari-Beth was Izzy, Nita was Neat (although she spelled it "Nete") and LaVonne was Ree, short for her middle name, Marie.  My baby brother David we called Gus, or more commonly, Gassy Gus, for obvious reasons. Me? I was simply Donna, although my sisters recently informed me that my nickname was actually Pinch-Face so maybe I just blocked the memory. 

One of the most thrilling parts of beginning a new novel is getting to name your "children". CLOVER BLUE is set in a 1960s/70s Northern California spiritual commune led by a quiet but charismatic man who gathers like-minded people to live a life that he terms The Peaceful Way. Each member of Saffron Freedom Community chooses or is given a new name when they join the family. As someone who lives in California and with a twenty-five-year career in massage therapy, I'm pretty sure I've heard every hippie-dippy-woo-woo-hooky-do name out there so I assumed this task would be easy. 

Long before typing the first words of the book, I made a list of my characters and their qualities, then assigned them a unique name. Besides Clover Blue and his best friend Harmony, whose namings are revealed as the story unfolds, Jao Ji  was the first name that came to me for the group's founder, given to him by an Indian guru. I wanted the leader's title to be a bit of a puzzle, just as he is. I liked the sound of the word. In Hindi Jao means "go" and Ji is a suffix of respect. So to my mind, having traveled throughout Eastern Asia before starting the commune, it felt like a fitting name for him. 

The next two names were given to prominent characters Willow and Wave, who, despite the free love enjoyed during the sexual revolution, remain steadfast in their love for each other. Willow is a skilled yogi and Wave a former surfer who abandoned the sea after an encounter with a shark. Another original member, Doobie gets his moniker from not only being the family marijuana cultivator, but also the person who consumes most of the product. It's a friendly name, which reflects Doobie's easy-going personality. 

On and on my list went with names like Lyric, Tao, Peace, Feather and Earth, a singer-songwriter, a thespian, a war protester, a bee-keeper and a wildish woman who worships nature. As the story progresses, three more characters show up: a teen-aged girl called Rain, midwife Serena, and Lotus, a neighboring artist. Other characters appear on the list, minor characters, and together I created a lively cast of spiritual seekers devoted to living a peaceful life in nature, far from the madding crowd. But as the story unfolded on the pages and these people came into better focus, they evolved from simple characters to three-dimensional human beings with a past and a purpose. Some wore their names perfectly while others began to slough off the names I'd given them, begging for a more suitable one. 

Jao Ji became Goji, a bastardization of what his teacher had called him, underscoring his flawed self-image. Rather than "Respected Traveler" his name became simply a plant with berries. Peace was renamed Coyote when he evolved from being just an army deserter to a man whose integrity runs much deeper than his politics. Earth became Gaia as she grew into her unpredictable wildness. I changed Feather to Jade because she is a much stronger, more independent woman than I'd first imagined. And sadly, Lyric and Tao disappeared from the pages as I tightened the cast and killed off my darlings.

What I realized while writing Clover Blue is that it would have been easy to take the lazy route and write caricatured versions of every hippie or flower child I've ever met, read about or seen on the screen. But the characters in CLOVER BLUE are more than their names. They are part of a collective tribe yet each with distinct passions and motivations, just like you and me. Mine just happens to be conjuring worlds full of imagined people and places to entertain and hopefully, enlighten readers. I sincerely hope you enjoy the time you spend with them as much as I did creating them.

CLOVER BLUE is now available for Pre-Order!

When Breath Becomes Heir

*Note: Beginning last week with the Cover Reveal for my next book, CLOVER BLUE, I'll be posting weekly-ish peeks into the story ahead of release on May 28, 2019. Be sure to subscribe via the button on the left to stay updated! 

When I was about seven years old, I sat at my desk in our tiny elementary school, staring at the pencil between my fingers, turning my hand this way and that. I remember very distinctly a dawning awareness of my hand attached to my arm, my breaths leaving my mouth, my body separate from my thoughts. In that brief existential moment, I suddenly understood that what I was, was not who I was. 

It was a strange feeling, this new realization that my body would grow and change but that the person inside having those thoughts would remain. The experience, however brief, left an indelible mark on my memory. At fifty-nine years old I still remember that epiphany almost as clearly as if it happened yesterday. 

As children we accept what we're told and rarely question the past as it fades in the wake of our maturation. And yet for most of us, there comes a point where we begin to ponder our existence, how we fit into the world, our families and the surrounding environment. We yearn to identify as a member of the human tribe that begins with our parents and siblings, stretching outward toward extended family, friends, and community. The older we get, the more our world expands to include our country, our planet, and the seemingly-infinite universe. 

In my next novel, Clover Blue, my young protagonist is missing a piece of his biological puzzle. He lives in a spiritual commune in Northern California without running water or electricity. Each day begins with yoga and ends with meditation. They sleep in an elaborate treehouse, raise their own food, and the Youngers are nature-schooled. Clover Blue is twelve years old when he begins to reflect upon his connections beyond Saffron Freedom Community:

I have no memory of anything before here. Sometimes when we’re in town at the library or the store, I hear a voice and it sounds familiar. Once in a while a smell reaches into my brain and tries to call up the past, but it’s always dark and flat. Maybe I don’t want to remember. Maybe it was bad. Or maybe it was so good it would hurt too much to remember.

And so begins Blue's search for identity among the ragtag tribe of folks who've raised

him. People like Goji, the commune founder, Jade, their former beekeeper, Wave, a guitar-playing surfer and his "old lady" Willow, a yoga enthusiast. Although Blue loves his unique family--especially his funny and fiercely independent best friend, Harmony--he aches to know more about his roots and how he ended up at Saffron Freedom Community. 

What about you? Can you remember when you first began to assert your autonomy as an individual? Was it a lightning bolt revelation or was it a more gradual understanding of your place in the world?

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Have I piqued your interest yet? I hope you'll follow this blog to learn more about my earnest young protagonist and his ragtag tribe. If you add Clover Blue to your Goodreads shelf and your BookBub wish-list you'll be notified of any news like giveaways or deals. The book is also available for pre-order online. Descriptions of all my books, including my debut novel This I Know and my memoir Lost In Transplantation can be found HERE. 

Birth of A Book (And A Cover Reveal!)

Birth of Venus by Sandro Botticelli

As I read excerpts from my novels while leading a recent writing workshop  at our local library, it occurred to me that although not intentional, both This I Know and my 2019 release, Clover Blue begin with a birth. The prologue of This I Know features twins Grace and Isaac communicating their last thoughts to each other during the final moments before birth:

I'm spooning my Other, my belly to his back. I love the way his body feels against mine. Although we've changed positions many times,  we always come back to this...

My goal was to capture the sibling's love for each other, but also their fear of separation. I'm not a twin and of course I don't remember being in the womb, but I do know how it feels to love. And I have endured the depth and weight of loss many times over so it wasn't that difficult to imagine how  vulnerable these two tiny humans might feel as they leave the safety of their mother's womb to face the unknown reality of the outer world. 

Authors often compare writing a book to pregnancy, and the eventual release, to birth. It's true that incubating a story takes months, often years, and there's no greater feeling than seeing your book come to life on bookstore shelves and in the hands of readers. Writing, editing, rewriting and revising is hard labor, but the rewards are plenty. One of those rewards is seeing your book cover for the very first time. I remember literally squealing when I first received the cover comps for This I Know. As some of you might remember, the real-life mother of that gorgeous red-headed child on the cover found me on Facebook and shared more photos of her daughter to use in our book trailer. 

My next book won't be out for another 175 days (whose counting, right?) but this is the week I get to reveal the cover. Before I do, I'd like to share the opening sentences to give you a feel for the book:

The Olders are letting us watch the birth. Harmony runs up the path ahead of me, her bare feet kicking up a cloud of dust. When she gets to the teepee she turns and yells, "Come on Blue! Aren't you excited?"

This story takes place in a fictional Northern California commune during the 1960s and 70s. The novel opens with young Clover Blue on his way to a birth, attended by the Saffron Freedom Community midwife. His fiercely independent best friend Harmony can't wait for the event but Blue holds back, fearful. And with good reason:

I walk slowly, taking small steps. I might be old enough at ten, but that doesn't mean I'm ready for this. I can't shake the memory of when our nanny goat, Inga, had a baby a couple years ago. She ate the sac around her kid and other stuff that came out of her afterward. I hope we don't have to eat anything that comes out after Jade's baby is born. We're vegetarian so probably not. But you never know with this family.

I loved writing Clover Blue. It was a unique opportunity to imagine coming of age in a spiritual commune among a tribe of bohemian seekers that includes a beekeeper, an army deserter, a surfer, a yoga enthusiast, a pot farmer, and their guru, among others. What would it be like to sleep in an elaborate tree house? To live in harmony with nature, without electricity or running water? To start each day with yoga and end it with meditation? To be raised equally by all the members, not knowing who your biological parents are?

Starting this week I hope to post weekly sneak peeks of passages from Clover Blue. I read the first several pages in a Live Video on my Facebook page yesterday (reading starts at 10:30) if you'd like to listen. I hope you'll follow this blog to learn more about my earnest young protagonist and his caretakers. If you add Clover Blue to your Goodreads shelf and your BookBub wish-list you'll be notified of any news like giveaways or deals. The book is also available for pre-order online. And now...drum roll please...I present the amazing cover for CLOVER BLUE. I look forward to reading your comments!