13 Reasons Why You Should Read Clover Blue

At first glance this photo looks like most any author talking up her new book on a tour of multiple radio shows, media interviews, bookstore signings and library events. She's trying not to look tired, despite having flown in from across the country late the night before and getting up on her west coast body clock's 4:00 AM to drive almost an hour for a ten minute segment on local public radio. The truth is she's exhausted, and yet she'd do it again. And again and again and again. Not because it will sell tons of books (although she hopes so) or because she enjoys being in the limelight (soft light, maybe) or even because it makes her publisher happy. The reason she invests so much time, energy, and, yes, her own money, into promoting her book is because she prays this new novel finds a home within the heart of a hungry reader. After all, she spent the last two years creating a patchwork of diverse characters, building their unique outdoor world, and weaving a story about a free-spirited tribe of seekers who reject cultural norms in order to live in nature and follow what they call The Peaceful Way.

On my way back to California from Michigan last week, I had a freak-out moment. With so many fabulous books releasing every single day, why should readers choose my book? I started doubting myself, all the time I'd spent crafting this story and how it might slip through the cracks along with all the other wonderful books that never make it from the store shelves into readers' hands. Why on earth did I quit my job? How would I survive financially and emotionally if the book failed? Who was I kidding, thinking people would want to read about a bunch of hippies in a 1970s commune instead of a thriller or a sizzling romance or a People magazine? 

And then something wonderful happened. The passenger next to me closed her paperback, so I offered her one of my bookmarks. This led to a conversation about books, and that led to us exchanging tidbits about our lives. She shared memories of her time spent in Borneo with the orangutans, including the time when one named "Princess" stole a canoe and hand-paddled her baby to the other side of the river toward a fruit-laden tree. We chatted for over two hours, exchanging stories and eventually, emails. By the time the plane landed in Denver this woman and I were no longer strangers. I promised to watch the orangutan documentary she'd recommended. She said she was headed straight to Tattered Cover to pre-order Clover Blue. Much like the lilting movements of the airplane, my emotions had swung up and down and back up again. 

It was nearly midnight when my last plane finally touched down in San Luis Obispo. I thought about my new friend driving through several inches of fresh snow to her cabin in the mountains over Denver. I couldn't help but smile, remembering some of the outrageous adventures she'd shared. I suddenly felt like Princess the orangutan, that I'd courageously paddled my way across this river of uncertainty to reach the fruit, my nascent novel in tow.

As I rolled my suitcase toward the parking lot,  it occurred to me that people don't buy books, they buy experiences. A story is an opportunity to escape into other worlds where we might recognize ourselves and others within the pages. Reading allows us to ponder the character's choices and connect with the emotions they feel. A good book takes us through hope, fear, sadness and joy via tragedy and triumph, just like in our own lives. My greatest success as an author is not determined by sales numbers, but by the number of people who are moved by the experience of reading my stories. 

I grew up in a preacher's home where we were raised to be modest and humble. Tooting your own horn was considered boastful. But we creatives need to start owning our talents. I wrote a damn good book and I'm really proud of it. Over the past few months I've slowly introduced the characters in Clover Blue here in this blog.  I wanted you to recognize your young selves in their youthful, idealistic ambitions. I hoped you'd begin to care about what happens to them. And now I'm asking you to take a chance on this story, their stories, with an assurance that your reading experience will be worth the cover price, about the same as a movie ticket and snacks.

I promised thirteen reasons why you should read Clover Blue. They are Goji, Willow, Wave, Jade, Coyote, Rain, Doobie, Gaia, Sirona, Harmony, Moon, Aura and Blue. A guru, a yogi, a surfer, beekeeper, an army deserter, a runaway teen, a pothead. a deadhead, a midwife, a friend, a son, a daughter, and a boy searching for his place among them. And here's a couple more reasons. If you pre-order the book from Amazon or your favorite Indie Bookstore,  I'll email you the link to a themed Clover Blue Playlist with over 120 song titles and send you a signed bookplate for your book, along with my deepest gratitude.

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Don't miss my Facebook Clover Blue Online Release Party! You could win a signed book, a Kindle PaperWhite, or one of several fun prizes! And if you're local, I'll be at Barnes & Noble in San Luis Obispo this Saturday, June 1 at 2:00 PM. 

AND...I hope to see you on my West Coast Summer Book Tour!

Willow and Wave: The Surfer and the Yogi

The wound is the place where the Light enters you. --Rumi

When I was a young girl I slipped out from under a blow-up swim ring at the lake near our home. I panicked, flailing and gulping water until a nearby adult grabbed me by the arm and pulled me to safety. From that point on, I was terrified of drowning. Despite a number of swimming lessons throughout my life, I'm still not a strong swimmer. That childhood experience, and the accompanying emotions are as fresh in my mind as the day it happened.

When I begin to write a new book, one of the first things I do is trace a line backward to a source of fear or pain in each new character I create. Relatable human beings, not just flat images on a page, are what draws me in as a reader. I want to know why Sirona took up midwifery, why Coyote takes lone walks at night, and why Goji traveled to India to explore mysticism instead of becoming a lawyer. I expect you do, too.

We are all molded through the nurturing we received as children. But that form is malleable, shifting shape through a litany of experiences, some that leave indelible scars. In the case of Wave, conventional parents mocked his teen-aged longing to become a singer. He left his home in Fresno and headed for the ocean, where he honed his musical skills and learned to surf. But his ambition and bravery were eventually curbed by the practical aspects of the music industry and the unpredictability of Mother Nature.

In the following scene from my forthcoming novel, Clover Blue sits in the woods with Wave, who is teaching his young mentee to play guitar:

When I ask how he first came here, Wave traces the scar on his thigh and smiles. “After the shark attack I gave up surfing and spent most days outside a coffee shop in Bodega Bay, singing for tips.”

“I don’t blame you for being afraid of the ocean after that.”

Wave slowly shakes his head. “Respect, not fear. It was a good lesson and I don’t need to learn it twice.” He strokes the neck of his beat-up guitar. “I taught myself how to play when I was your age. I had big dreams of becoming a famous singer either by myself or with a band. In the sixties, everybody and his brother was a folk singer so it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be.”

We later learn that Wave eventually joined Saffron Freedom Community, where he met his soulmate, Willow, a yoga enthusiast. Willow is tall and strong and disciplined in her daily practice of yoga and meditation. From the outside, she appears solid and unwavering in her status as the group's alpha female, often delegating chores to the other sister-mothers, though she is the only woman who remains childless. 

When a new girl (Rain) arrives at the commune, she asks Clover Blue to help her get to know the others. This is how he describes Willow to her. 

"Willow holds her thoughts inside. She keeps us on track with things like homework and chores. She taught me to read by the time I was four."

What neither Blue nor Rain can possibly know is that Willow's deep focus and intense discipline is steeped in the chaos of former experiences. Beneath her strong exterior, she harbors a deep pain that grows into a hardened knot, one that no asana can ever unwind. Willow can try to control herself and the people around her, but eventually she must allow herself to be vulnerable or risk becoming the knot itself.

Jumping back to my own childhood swimming trauma, many years later my young son and I signed up for a river rafting expedition while on vacation near Moab. The trip was overbooked, so Jacob and I were put in an inflatable "ducky" kayak and instructed to follow behind the larger raft. I was nervous, of course, but my son was so excited I couldn't back out. Besides, we were wearing life vests. What could go wrong? A few things, as it turns out. 

Being an inexperienced kayaker, I paddled too close behind the large raft. When the back end of the big yellow raft lifted out of the river rapids, I over-corrected to keep from nosing under it. The ducky flipped and dumped my son and me into the rapids. While seasoned company employees rescued Jacob, I found myself stuck under the kayak, unable to right it.The river current sent me hurtling into yet more frothing rapids. Terrified, I was seven years old all over again, certain I was about to drown.

And then something shifted. I stopped panicking and accepted my situation. I remember thinking, "I'm going to drown." I was taking water into my lungs, and yet I relaxed. It was the most peaceful moment I've ever experienced, almost blissful. I could see light shining through the blue plastic of the duckie, like a summer sky. And in that serene moment of acceptance, a voice in the back of my mind said, punch the ducky one more time. So I did, and it flipped off and away from me.

I tell this story because so often we react from a place of past fear, guilt, pain or unmet needs. It's human nature to try and fix the past by attempting to control the present. But control is an illusion. Eventually Wave will need to choose whether to face his fears and ride his board into the surf again. Willow will choose whether to confront her past demons as well. It's one of life's biggest questions: Do we let the past form us or inform us?

I hope you'll lose yourself in CLOVER BLUE's world, surrounded by all these unique characters as they make their choices, good and bad. Only fifty more days to go! You can pre-order the book from amazon. Better yet, pre-order CLOVER BLUE from your local bookstore here.

Join me for the exciting book launch of CLOVER BLUE and the paperback release of THIS I KNOW

Upcoming 2019 Dates:

Loutit Library

407 Columbus St, Grand Haven, MI
Thurs May 16, 7:00 PM

The Bookman

714 Washington Grand Haven, MI
Sunday May 19, 1:00 PM

Barnes & Noble 

894 Marsh St. San Luis Obispo, CASaturday June 1, 2:00 PM

Mystery Monday Dinner Adventure

18512 McArthur Blvd, Irvine, CA
Monday June 3, 6:00 PM

The Book Loft

1680 Mission Dr. Solvang, CA
Saturday June 8, 1:00 PM

Carlsbad Library

1775 Dove Lane, Carlsbad, CA
Sunday June 9, 2:00 PM

Chaucer's Bookstore

3321 State St., Santa Barbara, CA
Monday, July 29, 7:00 PM

Books Inc Palo Alto

855 El Camino Real, Palo Alto, CA
Thursday, August 1, 7:00 PM

Copperfield's Books

138 N. Main St, Sebastopol, CA
Friday August 2, 7:00 PM

Everybody Loves Rain: When the "New Girl" Shows Up

I distinctly remember the day Michelle* first appeared in the halls of our high school during the Spring of my sophomore year. A natural beauty, the shiny, new brunette immediately turned heads. My testosterone-fueled classmates were less than obvious in their remarks as Michelle's perfect body with perky boobs, a full head of gorgeous hair, and a perfect mouth that framed sparkling white teeth, breezed past us on her way to class. Of course, we girls stared, too. Michelle was a freak of nature, carved from some unnatural combination of drop-dead-gorgeous looks and bubbly personality that made it difficult to dislike her, even after she'd plucked your boyfriend from under your arm while you were home recovering from mono. 

I knew early on while writing CLOVER BLUE that although life in a commune would be far from boring, there's nothing like having a stranger arrive to shake up the status quo. Early in the story, a young runaway shows up, guided to Saffron Freedom Community by an estranged former member. The men fawn over the new beauty while the women become overly-protective of her. Despite the free-loving nature of the community, one is never sure if the sisters are more worried about the men seducing this naive young woman or her seducing them with her charming innocence. 

What follows is an excerpt from CLOVER BLUE, where young Blue watches as the commune's leader welcomes his newest protege:

The girl stares at her tennis shoes. Other than a smeared dirt hand print on the front of her white pants, she looks like a townie; clean like she just climbed out of a bathtub. She’s so beautiful I can’t stop staring. 

Goji puts a finger under the girl’s chin and lifts her face. With his other hand he sweeps the curtain of white-blond hair out of the way and looks directly into her bright eyes. I can tell by the blotches on her light skin that she’s been crying. I can also see that she’s already under Goji’s spell. That’s just the way it is with him.

From the time we're babes, we humans long to feel special in the eyes of those we love. It's no surprise then that when a stranger's light threatens to cast us into their shadow, our first reactions are jealously, fear and resentment. Hopefully, as in the case of my high school friend Michelle, we come to judge that person based upon who they truly are rather than any threat to our perceived ranking among family or peers. In my case, I was fortunate to remain friends with Michelle, long after she traded in my ex-boyfriend for a new one. 

I loved creating these ragtag characters and I'm looking forward to introducing you to them one by one in the weeks leading up to the release of CLOVER BLUE. In the meantime, think about a time when a stranger showed up in your life. Do you tend to hold back until you get to know a new person, or are you a virtual Welcome Wagon, embracing newcomers to your circle with open arms?

*Name changed to protect privacy. Sadly, like many bright and beautiful beings, we lost "Michelle" much too soon when her life was cut short by breast cancer. This post is dedicated to her beautiful memory.

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CLOVER BLUE is now available for Pre-Order!